


Mind Your Ps and Qs

by irishfino



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: AU, F/M, Humor, Romance, just for fun, no one is murdered by speedsters, westwells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-10 20:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7005619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishfino/pseuds/irishfino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harrison is a grumpy professor. Iris is a happy professor. Harrison is grumpy in public. Iris keeps his grumpiness in check. Jesse and Wally play matchmaker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm sorry; I was wrong, here's some coffee and hush money

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to elrhiarhodan for the idea on the meetcute!

                It had been a long day. Too long. Professor Wells was tired. Well, Doctor Professor. Not that it mattered. But it did. It mattered a lot. Not enough, it seemed, to the damn bookstore that somehow managed to fuck up ordering the required book for the coming semester. Which lead him to the bookstore to confront the incompetent staff. The poor cashier ran away the second he glared at him and growled “Manager.” Once the manager reached the counter, Harrison had an earful and a half for her.

                “I’m sorry, Mr. Wells,” the bookstore manager said calmly.

                “Doctor,” he snapped. “Dr. Harrison Wells, professor at Central City University, teaching Fluid Dynamics, entry level Physics, String Theory, and other fun topics.”

                “Dr. Wells, we only order what we receive in invoices. We have no record of your official invoice being sent to us.”

                Harrison shakes his head. “No, no, _no_. I sent the invoice the day it was requested by my department head. I sent it straight to this bookstore. Where. Are. My. Books.”

                “Dr. Wells, we didn’t –”

                In hindsight, slapping the counter was entirely inappropriate given the situation, but it did attract the attention of a rather gorgeous woman who verbally bitch slapped him and aroused him at the same time. She walked over to him like no one’s business and inserted herself between him, the counter, and the manager who appeared to be keeping calm despite his very unwarranted aggression.

                “I believe this _very_ polite manager said that there was no invoice received,” the stranger said. “Why don’t you do me a favor and check your email on your phone.”

                “That’s pointless,” he sniffed.

                “This will end one of two ways. You’ll check your email, find out what happened, order the proper books and have a nice evening or you’ll leave right now, without your book order and find some other way to get your books into the bookstore on campus.”

                He opened his mouth, but she cocked her head to the side and arched an eyebrow.

                “Fine,” he said, “I’ll prove that I sent things on my end and that I am right.”

                “And if you’re not right?” the stranger challenged.

                “Then I’ll apologize.”

                “And?”

                Harrison snorted and pulled out his phone. “I’ll send over a bag of coffee.” The stranger snorted, but he didn’t care, he wasn’t wrong. He scrolled until he found an email from a week ago titled IMPORTANT: BOOK ORDER REQUEST NOT RECEIVED. Well, fuck. It appeared he was wrong. He didn’t like being wrong. And he had made an entire ass out of himself. He pushed the bridge, forcing his glasses higher on his nose.

                “I was wrong,” he said calmly. He looked the manager in the eye. “I apologize. Sincerely. I will rectify this tonight, in my office, away from you, and send that bag of coffee I promised.”

                The stranger scoffed. He ignored her as much as humanly possible. It would have helped if he was blind. And deaf. And has no sense of smell. She smelled lovely. Too lovely. It hadn’t been that long. _Get yourself together, Harrison_.

                “And a gift card,” Harrison added.

                “To where?” the stranger asked, then she turned and faced the manager. “Where do you go the most?”

                “Work?” the manager said.

                “I’ll just send one of those Visa gift cards,” he said lamely. “Again, I’m truly sorry.”

                And he ran, well, walked quickly, out of the bookstore. It had been a long day, but that was no excuse. He knew better. His mother raised him right, dammit. At least he was somewhat saved by the beautiful stranger who smelled like brown sugar and vanilla and honey and cinnamon. And that cute furrow she had between her brows as she yelled at him. Oh, and her voice. Heavenly. Absolutely heavenly. Too bad he’d never see her again. Oh well, time to go home, beat himself up over his poor choices today, and continue preparation for the coming semester of entry level physics classes with bored not-really-adults fresh out of high school. He was living the dream.


	2. Plots and Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost entirely dialogue of the worst-best most horrible awesome plan ever.

                “And then the dude yelled at me!” Wally said, throwing his hands in the air for emphasis. “Dude was straight pissed about some books, man.”

                “That totally sucks,” Jesse replied. “So what did you do?”

                “I ran and got the manager. That dude was way above my pay grade.”

                “I’m so sorry that happened, Wally.”

                Wally shrugged. “It’s all right. He sent some coffee later. Like a bag of it.”

                “Wait…”

                “Weird, right? My sister ended up calming the situation down. She’s pretty good at that.”

                “The guy sent coffee.”

                “Yeah, why?”

                Jesse covered her face with her hand. “I’m, like, eighty percent sure that was my dad.”

                “Your _dad_!? Hooooly shit.”

                “He gets really angry about book orders. It’s ridiculous. I mean, he’s all around grumpy. He started down the grumpy path when he and mom split when I was four. Now he’s just a huge ball of grumpy scientist slash professor slash coffee addict. I’m so sorry, Wally.”

                “Your dad is messed up.”

                Jesse groaned. “I know. I’m so sorry. Don’t tell anyone he’s my dad.”

                “I’m telling _everyone_ I have ever met ever.”

                “I will pay you in coffee.”

                Wally laughed. “Okay, fine. But, hey, he seemed to dig my sister.”

                “Oh, my god, ew.”

                “Just hear me out. He practically melted when she yelled at him. We should hook them up.”

                “This sounds like the beginning of a horribly awesome plan,” she chuckled.

                “That’s the only kind I know.”


	3. The Date and the Send Off to the Beginning of a Wonderful Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrison talks to Wally and Jesse. Harrison goes on a date with Iris. They kiss by-proxy.

                Harrison’s day started like most others. Class, questions, annoying co-workers, annoying students, his daughter stopping by with the kid he’d yelled at the other night. Okay, that last one wasn’t normal, she usually just came to pick up the apology cards he had penned to various establishments for being a huge pain in the ass. That had been an everyday occurrence since his divorce and exit from S.T.A.R. Labs.

                Harrison stared at his guest and his daughter as they stood in front of his desk.

                “Dad, this is Wally,” Jesse said. “He’s my friend and just so happens to be the guy you yelled at last night.”

                Harrison offered his hand across the desk. “I recognize him. I didn’t get the chance to apologize to you for that.”

                “Yeah, about that,” Wally started, grabbing his hand in a firm shake. “See, the lady who stopped you was my sister,” he continued. _Shit_. “And she’s also a professor here. She teaches English and does some work for CCPN.”

                “And we think if it’s a good idea if the two of you go on a date,” Jesse finished.

                Wally nodded. Harrison laughed. Jesse frowned. It was a whole thing.

                “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard and I’m a professor,” Harrison replied lightly. “Why don’t I just give you a gift card and we forget this entire thing happened?”

                “Nah,” Wally replied.

                “Nope!” Jesse said happily. “I’ve been trying to get you to date for years now and his sister is totally perfect for you.”

                “I’m not –” Harrison started. Oh, hell. It could be worse. He’d already met this mysteriously named sister. She was cute. And she’s a professor? It was English, but, still, that was an accomplishment. And the way she talked to him so firmly. Mm. That aroused private places. “Going to say no,” he finished. Jesse and Wally exchanged grins. “I assume everything is already set up.”

                “No,” Wally replied.

                “But we will set it up, it’ll be great!” Jesse finished.

                Harrison shrugged. What could go wrong?

* * *

 

                Nothing went wrong. Not a damn thing. Harrison met with his not-quite-blind-date at a fairly standard we don’t know each other but here we are restaurant. The food was good. The burger was a little well-done but he wasn’t about to send it back. Iris’, that’s her name Iris (happy sigh), burger was a little under-done, naturally, they switched burgers.

                “Oh, god, we’ve already kissed,” Iris said as she took a huge bite of her burger.

                “What? I was not present for this. When did this happen?” Harrison asked.

                “By burger proxy,” she quipped.

                They shared a laugh, a few stories of the crazy things students do to get extensions on projects or papers, and a little of who they were. By the end of the date Harrison was smitten. They did finally enjoy an actual kiss when they parted way at Iris’ parked car. They didn’t swap spit, this time at least, but it was a warm kiss that sent shivers down his spine. He definitely owed Wally a gift card.


End file.
